Another bunch of things I didn't intend to write

I cannot be alone. There was a time when I thought I could, but I can't.

Fuck that. Of course I can be alone. It's not like I haven't ever been alone. I was just thinking that I might manage to escape from it. I can be alone.
But I don't want to.
Maybe this is my greatest weakness... and my greatest fear.

Still, it is not what tortures me. What keeps me from sleep every night is that I cannot even make the people closest to me believe that they are not alone.

Because you are not alone, Sister - I'll always be there, and you know it. But I cannot make you stop feeling lonely. I wish I could, I wish that so much, but you wouldn't let me anyway.
That's why I feel so lonely too.

"There is no worse thing for one's soul than the feeling of meaninglessness."

I miss you. I really do, even though you don't believe me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said I had nothing to tell you. It sounded like I had nothing to tell you anymore, ever. That's not true. I'm sorry I made you mad and then just let you hang up. I'm sorry I was so frightened by my own feeling of loneliness and acted as if I didn't realize how lonely you are.
I'm the worst sister possible, ain't I?
Please don't hate me. I know you say you don't hate anyone - but still, please don't hate me.

Буря

Гръмотевици като далечни изстрели
разцепиха небето. И кърви.
Птиците-куршуми го пронизаха
с криле безмилостни и лъскави очи.

Светкавици прорязани дълбоко
в плътта му синя, почерняла от тъга
белязват го със свойта светла диря,
а то притихва в кратък миг едва

и отново прогърмява с ярка болка,
разкъсано от капчици вода -
милиони малки бляскащи иглички,
пронизващи очите на света.

Тогава с гръм последен, сякаш удар,
се спира бурята и пада тишина.
Остава само споменът за нея -
една дъга над мократа трева.

Предчувствие за лято

Кавалкади от забързаните стъпки
на хората по топлия асфалт
пак ще зазвучат и тази сутрин
от шарения летен фестивал.

Липите ще шумят по тротоара
със своите дървесни гласове,
заглъхващи в шума на карнавала
от думи, стъпки, сплетени ръце.

И летният Бургас ще се събуди,
отново осъзнал, че младостта
идва като ято пеперуди
за да намери своята съдба

някъде по неговите улици.
И той, обсипан с гларуси, солен,
пак ще ги гледа как се губят
и намират се отново някой ден,

всички тези хора по асфалта,
крачещи под летните липи.
И цялата му пъстрост карнавална
във стъпките им шумно ще кипи.

Grasp

This image has been in my mind for quite a long time now (wonder why...), so I just drew it.


The original picture:




Photoshop-ed a bit:








Photoshop-ed a lot:

On the Morning Dew

At the border of the plain where suddenly the forest dies
On the first day of the season
When the moon will shine full in the sky
I will wait for you there bathed by a magic light
I will wait, I will pray for this moment to become alive
For this night I will see you as an elf clad in leaves
You are going to see myself the fairy of your secret dreams
Even if all this belongs to worlds of fantasy
For this time, only tonight everything is fair, belongs to me
One night fantasy...

Live my every breath, my every touch, my every single sigh
Seizing hold of every glance
As the day's passing by begins a wonderful sight
Dancing on the morning dew, the dawn has come only for you
I look up at the sky for the stars to be my guide
At the border of the plain where suddenly the forest dies
On the first day of the season
When the moon will shine full in the sky
I waited for you there bathed by a magic light
I have waited, I have prayed and this moment has become alive
One night fantasy...

Live my every breath, my every touch, my every single sigh
Seizing hold of every glance
As the day's passing by begins a wonderful sight
Dancing on the morning dew, the dawn has come only for you
I look up at the sky for the stars to be my guide

The Thin Line Between Pain and Pleasure

The original picture...




... and Photoshop-ed a bit...








... and Photoshop-ed a lot. XD

Спешно се нуждая от кафе и прегръдка.

Хей, аз съм старата аз. Тази, дето живееше до Морската, сутрин слушаше гларусите докато вървеше към училище по Богориди, и дето можеше да остане будна и да дочака слънцето, без от това да боли. И дето пишеше стихове на онези листи със сините и розови редове, никога преди полунощ. И морето. И моста. И сутрините с вятъра, и как исках и аз да го погаля, и светлото небе. И лебедите оня път като тичахме. Спомних си. Няма вече да се върна, не и наистина.

Сега никакви стихове. Никакви.
Кога спрях да пиша на онези листчета?

Звуча... Меланхолично ли, носталгично ли... Малко заспало ли... Хм.

Искам кафе. Дълго кафе без захар.

What if...

... you looked at flowers from below...



... or could fall through a tunnel of leaves...



... or lay on the ground until you feel like a blade of grass...



... or could gently touch the tree-tops with the tips of your wings...



... or stared straight into the sun?

More Rubbish

Well well well. No more song lyrics for a while. xD
I thought there were no more of my pitiful attempts from last year, but I found one more - the most pitiful...


* * *

eyes full of rain
there's nothing to gain
but so much to lose
what do you choose?
to rain, rain, rain, rain
'till you drown all the pain
or wait, wait, wait, wait
'till it becomes so late
that you can no longer sleep
nor can you weep
and then you will wait
'till you lose all the faith
that a morning would come...

... but you'll then see the sun.


Okay, now I think this was the last one (in English).

Punishment Divine

It's warm and tender
But very soon it will turn cold
Shadows stare down from the walls
Out of the mist
It's coming closer now
It never rains
It pours on me
So let the saints
Set up the courtyard
The unpleasant cage
The obvious point is I'm insane
Was I aware
Whom I had slain
I fear I was the Faceless
The Nameless
The bush set on fire
No one ever dared to speak
"Shame on me
I don't believe
The here and now
Is all we're living for"

Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
By one false move
It's blown away
Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
Their voices cease
It's gone away

Vanished
To the point of no return
Vanished
To the point of no return

Witness my last breath
I do not regret
A word I've said
The strong will survive
The weak must die
And out of the mist
It's coming closer now
Sinner and saint
The grateful slave

Nature's law instead of God in Heaven

From far beyond
I can hear them sing
I hear angels sing
Songs of innocence
I hear the angels sing
Despite the facts are clear
It cannot be
What we can't see
I must admit
It sounds so sweet

Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
By one false move
It's blown away
Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
Their voices cease
It's gone away

Vanished
To the point of no return
Vanished
To the point of no return

Angels sing, I hear Angels sing
Can hear them sing
Far beyond, I hear them sing
"It's true, it's true
We don't exist"
Far beyond I hear them sing
"It's true, it's true
We don't exist"

Well we all know
There's no other side
It's good and evil
I know right between
There's no borderline
This is the punishment divine

Surrounded by night
I've been offered insight
There is none but the sin of pride
Am I wrong an I right
Am I losing my sight
Abandoning the superior mind

Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
By one false move
It's blown away
Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
Their voices cease
It's gone away

Vanished
To the point of no return
Vanished
To the point of no return

Right away I will be gone
Gone I will be gone

Through the valleys grey
Through the shapeless land
I walk alone
I'm left alone

Through the deepest void
A blackened paradise
I walk alone
I'm left alone


П.П. Чудя се за какво точно е написана тази песен всъщност... Във всеки случай не това, с което аз я свързвам. Anyway, много е хубава.
П.П.2 Само поствам разни текстове на песни... Е, нищо, скоро ще има и друго.