Forever

Forever is the one word that contains hope and despair. It contains all kinds of pain and every type of love (and they have a lot to do with each other sometimes). Forever. The true meaning of it is actually something unthinkable to a human being. It's just so much bigger than a human life or a human mind. A part of me wishes to grasp it, to feel it, to know it. But the other part is so afraid. If human beings weren't afraid of forever, would they be able to understand? Sometimes I fell like I have my own little forever inside of me, but I can't touch it or truly feel it. I think I could never see the true nature of it, even though there are times when I feel like I can.
Forever. I guess it's a concept too huge and complex to be fully understood - containing everything and nothing. Maybe it's something like an absolute state of mind: being, seeing and feeling everything, everywhere, any time. Having all the questions and all the answers (I could hardly imagine that). However, absolution means absolute loneliness... No. Aloneness.
The word 'forever' makes me think of infinite space and time, infinite being and infinite emptiness. Actually 'emptiness' is my first association. I'm not sure why exactly. Forever is supposed to contain everything. But it's also completely empty.
And I am afraid. There is so much more.