More Rubbish

Well well well. No more song lyrics for a while. xD
I thought there were no more of my pitiful attempts from last year, but I found one more - the most pitiful...


* * *

eyes full of rain
there's nothing to gain
but so much to lose
what do you choose?
to rain, rain, rain, rain
'till you drown all the pain
or wait, wait, wait, wait
'till it becomes so late
that you can no longer sleep
nor can you weep
and then you will wait
'till you lose all the faith
that a morning would come...

... but you'll then see the sun.


Okay, now I think this was the last one (in English).

Punishment Divine

It's warm and tender
But very soon it will turn cold
Shadows stare down from the walls
Out of the mist
It's coming closer now
It never rains
It pours on me
So let the saints
Set up the courtyard
The unpleasant cage
The obvious point is I'm insane
Was I aware
Whom I had slain
I fear I was the Faceless
The Nameless
The bush set on fire
No one ever dared to speak
"Shame on me
I don't believe
The here and now
Is all we're living for"

Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
By one false move
It's blown away
Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
Their voices cease
It's gone away

Vanished
To the point of no return
Vanished
To the point of no return

Witness my last breath
I do not regret
A word I've said
The strong will survive
The weak must die
And out of the mist
It's coming closer now
Sinner and saint
The grateful slave

Nature's law instead of God in Heaven

From far beyond
I can hear them sing
I hear angels sing
Songs of innocence
I hear the angels sing
Despite the facts are clear
It cannot be
What we can't see
I must admit
It sounds so sweet

Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
By one false move
It's blown away
Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
Their voices cease
It's gone away

Vanished
To the point of no return
Vanished
To the point of no return

Angels sing, I hear Angels sing
Can hear them sing
Far beyond, I hear them sing
"It's true, it's true
We don't exist"
Far beyond I hear them sing
"It's true, it's true
We don't exist"

Well we all know
There's no other side
It's good and evil
I know right between
There's no borderline
This is the punishment divine

Surrounded by night
I've been offered insight
There is none but the sin of pride
Am I wrong an I right
Am I losing my sight
Abandoning the superior mind

Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
By one false move
It's blown away
Joyful it seems
But then suddenly
Their voices cease
It's gone away

Vanished
To the point of no return
Vanished
To the point of no return

Right away I will be gone
Gone I will be gone

Through the valleys grey
Through the shapeless land
I walk alone
I'm left alone

Through the deepest void
A blackened paradise
I walk alone
I'm left alone


П.П. Чудя се за какво точно е написана тази песен всъщност... Във всеки случай не това, с което аз я свързвам. Anyway, много е хубава.
П.П.2 Само поствам разни текстове на песни... Е, нищо, скоро ще има и друго.

When Angels Deserve to Die

It is so weak and selfish that I am unable to get over my fears on my own, and I can't always deal with things by myself, and I can't bear to be alone.

What the fuck happened to the me that was a strong person and was able to help people when they needed it... without hurting them more? Or did I just think I was strong? Did I not help at all? Did I make things worse, just like I'm doing now - every time I try to make them better?
I'm sorry...

"Your touch is hurting him, you know."
"I know. I'm not touching him..."
... and I would give up Heaven and Hell to be able to touch him without hurting him.

It still wouldn't matter.
I am not an angel. I'm very human - in the worst sense of the word.
And even if I was an angel, it still wouldn't matter.
I can't save anyone.

When angels deserve to die.

I wish I could die like that too.

This whole thing is so selfish.
I guess I'm just too weak.

I don't matter. Writing all of this was wrong, not what I wanted to say, not what I had to say.

I'm sorry. But I don't feel I could ask forgiveness.

Stargazer

High noon
Oh I'd sell my soul for water
Nine years' worth
Of breakin' my back
There's no sun in the shadow of the wizard
See how he glides
Why he's lighter than air
Oh I see his face

Where is your star?
Is it far, is it far, is it far?
When do we leave?
I believe, yes, I believe

In the heat and the rain
With whips and chains
Just to see him fly
So many die
We built a tower of stone
With out flesh and bone
Just to see him fly
Don't know why
Now where do we go

Hot wind moving fast across the desert
We feel that our time has arrived
The world spins while we put his wing together
A tower of stone to take him straight to the sky
Oh I see his face

Where is your star?
It is far, is it far, is it far?
When do we leave?
Yeah
I believe, I believe

In the heat and the rain
With whips and chains
Just to see him fly
Too many die
We built a tower of stone
With out flesh and bone
To see him fly
But we don't know why
Now where do we go

All eyes see the figure of the wizard
As he climbs to the top of the world
No sound as he falls instead of rising
Time standing still
Then there's blood on the sand
Oh I see his face

Where was your star?
Was it far, was it far?
When did we leave?
We believe, we believe, we believe

In the heat and rain
With whips and chains
To see him fly
So many died
We built a tower of stone
With out flesh and bone
To see him fly
But why, it don't rain
With all our chains
Did so many die
Just to see him fly
Look at my flesh and bone
Now look, look, look, look
Look at this tower of stone
I see a rainbow rising
Look there on the horizon
And I'm coming home
Coming home, I'm coming home
Time is standing still
He gave me back my will
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Going home
I'm going home
My eyes are bleeding
And my heart is weeping
We still hope, we still hope, oh
Take me back
He gave me back my will
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Going home
I'm going home
My eyes are bleeding
And my heart is weeping
We still hope, we still hope, oh
Take me back, take me back
Back to my home, oh, oh...

анти-дъждовно настроение

стига толкова облачни стихове,
стига толкова ритми за дъжд.
искам песен от моите викове -
неприкрити от мен да струят.


п.п. ъъ, не... май нямам обяснение за това.

I Hate.

I hate. I hate it when people try to take my dreams away from me. Not merely try to stop me from reaching them, but to take away the dream itself, to tear it apart and then smash it. And hope I'd forget all about it. Well, I do not forget. And I won't let them take away anything.
But the thing I hate the most is that these same people are supposed to be very close to me. Supposed to.

I hate.

I hate it when I strive to do something, and not just to do it, but to do it right, in the best possible way, and someone just tells me I'm not trying hard enough. Or if I am, then I'm just not good enough. Better off if I quit.
Guess what? Fuck you.

And by the way, I hate thunderstorms. This is the third one in 36 hours. The sky is some strange shadow of dark grey... I wish the weather would become sunny again. Even though I usually like stormy weather. In any case, in the moment I hate it.

I shouldn't have written all of this shit. It sounds like I'm just complaining because I've nothing better to do. Anyway, I've written it, so I'll post it.
And I'm less angry now, as a matter of fact. I guess that's a good thing.

Frühling...

Just some pictures...


From winter...



... to the slow awakening of spring...





... and to its full-blossom beauty.








Oh non rien de rien
Oh non je ne regrette rien...


... der Frühling blutet in Paris... und Sofia. =)

Memories of Snow

In the mood for writing in English.
So...
I was looking at my old stuff (old stuff = rubbish from last year) and found a couple of things I thought I wanted to post. The order is chronological, as far as I can remember.


when

when the sunrays of summer were fire
that burned the skin to the flesh
and golden eyes, painfully tired
stared up, sleeplessly red
when no one was there to save you
and you, all alone, just lay down
needing to breathe but afraid to
and quietly wishing to cry
i was somewhere, hopelessly searching
didn't know i was looking for you
while you lay there, alone in the sunshine,
under the summer sky, painfully blue


Frozen

The fire burned the autumn leaves
And winter comes with storms.
Fly along with the cold wind
Over the fields of snow
The sun left earth without its shine
Under cold steel clouds.
The frozen breath of snowy skies
Envelopes the winter's heart
Blinded by the white storm, eyes
Look with empty gaze.
Hands bounded by the heavy ice
Grip tight to stop the pain
Snow falls like silky curtains
Down from the silent sky.
Endless cold white circles
Are drawn by winter's cries


These two are the only ones that could go on here without me spending a couple of hours editing them.

And just some fragment of I don’t know what… It could make a nice story if I developed the idea some more…


For a moment in the dark, I existed only as the twisted reflection of a shadow, until the rain washed it from the window. The next minute or eon all that was left was the memory of my touch on the glass, as I stood still and waited. Nothing happened.

I breathed again.


P.S. I’ll post the other stuff too when I edit it. If I find all of it. I feel like posting everything, even though I’m not sure I will…

Малко лигня в стихотворна форма

искаш ли да плачем?
като летен дъжд,
падащ по земята.
някак изведнъж,
като кратка буря
сред юлска топлина,
тополите да брулим.
да слушаме дъжда,
като сиви птици
с намокрени крила.
на свойте черни жици
те чакат и мълчат.
искаш ли да плачем?
и после да мълчим.
само ще ми кажеш
още ли боли.
искаш ли да плачем?
и после тишина.
и после да е леко,
като след дъжда.


П.П. Това се позачудих да го пускам ли, понеже не се кефя нито на идеята, нито на изпълнението, но пък си бях решила, че ще пускам всякакъв боклук тука, така че...
П.П.2 Разни хора, с чийто начин на мислене по default не съм съгласна, бяха вдъхновението. xD То затова е по-зле и от обикновено.